The Bitch Is ... Still Here*

With all due respect to Elton John....

I've written before about this woman who started working in our office late last year. I had worked with her before this (actually recommended that she be fired from the last job we worked on together because she wasn't pulling her own weight and because she was a morale problem), but apparently her father (a prominent judge) is good enough friends with one of the partners here that she gets a job. Lest you criticize me for being overly caustic, I'm actually being kind given what she's pulled since she started working here, but that is a story for another day.

Anyway, Little Miss Thing had a hearing in a district court in Burton this morning and she noticed that there was a hearing scheduled for Client A – so she calls my secretary about it.

Not the secretary who handles the cases from this client, not her own secretary - my secretary. Like I'm not doing something I should be, and she's just found out about it so she has to tattle.

Fortunately, my secretary told her that I was in Lansing on another matter as directed by the attorney who is in charge of both cases, so it wasn't my file. Then, my wonderful secretary followed up on it and found out whose file it was. Turned out, it was another person in my office who had been given wrong directions, and he was on his way. Sheesh.

It’s one thing to have to put up with her being here when she’s such a know-it-all, name-dropper, her-crap-doesn't-stink, can't-see-past-the-end-of-her-own-nose anyway, but to know that she is actively looking for things I’m screwing up so she can tattle on me is just downright annoying.

I suppose I shouldn’t feel too bad – after all, this same client just pulled a file from her and directed it to me because she didn’t know what she was doing. :)

*The reference is to a song by Elton John circa 1974 entitled "The Bitch is Back." According to legend (OK, the internet), he was in a foul mood, complaining about anything and everything, and Bernie Taupin's wife, Maxine, saw him and said "Uh-Oh, the bitch is back." Bernie Taupin writes Elton's lyrics and thought it was a great phrase. He wrote lyrics around it and Elton put it to music.

Licensed to Snark

I'm in serious danger of committing assault with a deadly smart-mouth, so I thought I would share with you, instead of the individual I should share this with.

Thanks to Kim, at Hiraeth, I found this video clip of a DUI stop which I found so hilarious, I almost wet my pants:



No, it wasn't real; it was from a comedy show called Reno 911. Which it says on the caption of the video when you go to YouTube.com. The point was, I had already committed one glaring smart-mouth offense yesterday involving a "reply all" that I should have just "replied."

Out of gratitude for the people who didn't let me sit too long with egg on my face, I sent them this video, thinking that it was just a funny video - i.e., not caring if it was real or not, only that it was funny. [Plus, it says right on the webpage the link directs you to that it's from Reno 911 - duh!]

Mr. Same Know-It-All responded to this olive branch with: "You do realize this is from a comedy TV show, right? Not a real stop? Just making sure…."

ARGGGHHHH! I wanted - oh, so badly wanted! - to respond with "and one wonders why you're still single, Radar...." But I didn't. I wanted to, but I didn't. Particularly since I am not the office politician in anyone's office, and you should never snark the hands that might pull you out of the muck one day.

Still......

Generation Gap

I knew it. I found this article by Jason Ryan Dorsey (Special to Yahoo! Personals) that confirmed everything I’ve been thinking about “these kids today” (and in a lot more people than you would think in my generation). Take a look at his comments:

“Many Twentysomethings have grown up always getting what they want. They got the clothes they want. They got the car they want. They begged for better grades and got those, too. And they're used to getting what they want immediately and on their own terms. They expect to walk into a coffee shop and get their triple-cream-mocha-latte with sprinkles made just for them, with their name written in bold green marker on the side of the cup to prove it. They also get their favorite DVDs delivered directly to their home, their emails forwarded to their phone, and up-to-the-minute weather bulletins displayed on their computer screen. They even have the option to get fresh groceries delivered, but they won't because they can't cook unless Mom helps.

In addition to being raised on instant everything, these consistently head-over-heels-in-love and heartbroken Twentysomethings have huge expectations. The real world hasn't always gone the way they wanted -- instead of making CEO in a year they make 4,000 copies in a day -- but they use their 12 credit cards to fill the self-esteem gap. After all, who needs to buy a red 3 Series BMW with chrome rims when you can lease it?”

This is why I don't fit in today's world. I grew up in an era when you got things the old-fashioned way: hard work. Everything, including relationships, moved at a slower pace. I'm just not wired for this high-speed, fast-paced world. Despite having been born in the mid-1960s, I am squarely smack-dab in the pre-Baby Boomer generation. My values are more in tune with those WWII folks (in some ways) than with my own kind, so to speak. But there are other areas in which I'm right on track with my generation (or a generation or two after mine).

I like jazz - the good kind, not this whiny, wimpy Muzak nonsense that passes for jazz - and swing and folk music and classical music, much like my parents and my grandparents (and their contemporaries) did before me. But I also like Green Day, The Fray, Daniel Powter, Norah Jones and other new artists, too.

I don't think there is necessarily a need to patch the generation gap. Not in my own life and not in general. I do think that transgenerational exploration is beneficial to almost anyone, and that the more we learn from the past, the more likely we are to survive.

Not that I am likely to be texting anyone in the near (or distant) future - that's one form of shorthand I can't fathom at all.... U?

Whew! I feel much better!